So there was SOME humor…
Posted on February 22nd, 2016
I can’t say spending 5-6 hours at a hospital emergency department being scared out of my wits is my idea of fun (especially not with a backache that led to the most miserable PT session of my life this morning), but it had its moments.
- We were fast-tracked to the back (and then to a room right by all the diagnostic tests) because of kH’s symptoms, so all the waiting was at the back end.
- I somehow managed to remember all of kH’s medications and reported them since he couldn’t. At about 75 MPH.
- I did this while holding on so tightly to the rail of the bed he was in that I think I left nail marks.
- When they took him for the CT scan, I remembered I had 1) a Pepsi Max in my bag and 2) Klonopin. That helped.
- When they transported him for the lumbar puncture, there was paperwork that said, “Ticket to Ride” at the top of it. I found this hilarious.
- My daughter, despite only grabbing one wimpy kid book, behaved pretty well.
- But if you ask me, “Is he going to die?” repeatedly as my daughter did, I don’t prevaricate. I say, “Yes. But hopefully not tonight.” I said it a lot of times.
- We were in the cafeteria when the evening prayer (it’s a Catholic hospital) came over the loudspeaker. I’m a minister’s daughter and I don’t even register prayers. They’re background noise to me. (Crucifixes creep me out, though. A benefit of a post-Calvinist upbringing: no bodies on crosses.) However, they’re not normal for pH, whose prayer experiences are limited to those I utter, at volume, in the car. They are not usually very nice prayers.
- The speaker-prayer led to pH asking, “MOM. WAS JESUS A REAL PERSON?” in the echoing cafeteria. So I got to explain that yes, I think he was a real person and that he did and said some good things and that many of them are things we should aspire to. Especially the money-lender tantrum bit.
- I’m a shitty atheist, I really am. I was so ready to go to the chapel and pray, just to hedge my bets, but I didn’t see any signs when I was looking. I did see kH’s doctor down one of those crazy 100 yard corridors and so was able to find out the CT results right away, which was as good as praying since it ruled out a stroke or bleed, and usually you have to wait two hours to get the results, anyway.
And I don’t know if this is a good bit or not, but after the PT session from hell, I had the nap of my dreams today. (I had very little sleep, so…) I never get to nap. It was awesome.