The next person to suggest “god/the universe doesn’t give you more than you can handle” is getting kneecapped.*


*Despite my minority and unpopular belief that the second amendment is a collective, not individual, right (primarily due to comma placement), I have a gun. I can’t hit the broadside of a barn, what with not liking 1) recoil, 2) loud noises, 3) a grip too big for my freakishly tiny hands, and 4) shooting ranges, but I’m willing to give it a try on the next kindly-but-useless-purveyor-of-advice.

PS: If you, dear reader, have a zer0-tolerance policy, the above was all hyperbolic.